I can't talk, but damn I'm cute

9.5 Month Check In

2009-04-09T20:47:00.003-04:00

Sorry for the delay... but between Mommy and Daddy's busy jobs and my new found adventures in trying to kill myself, we've been too tired to post.

I love this stage of life. I babble and giggle. I dance and clap. Seriously, I am SO entertaining that the only use for DVDs in this house is as chew toys. On our trip, I learned how to wave and woo the ladies -- the older ones with money!

When I am not busy dancing and playing my piano, I like to test my limits. This includes dive-bombs off the couch, pulling cords out of the socket, playing in the cats' water bowl, and trying to roll off the changing table. So far the only major damage that I have caused is breaking of 2 lamps in 2 weeks.

My stats:
20 pounds
28.75 inches
Not much hair

Likes:
Cheerios
Crawling
Kitties
The word "big rig"

Dislikes:
Naps
Pureed meat
Being spoon-fed
Drunk people on airplanes

Foiled again.

2009-04-07T00:34:00.017-04:00

Mommy and Daddy took me on a trip to a place called Curacao. I'm not really sure exactly where that is, but I was on airplanes for a very long time. I'm not a real big fan of those noisy uncomfortable flying tubes, but I didn't get a vote.

This pretty but garish town is Willemstad, Curacao's capital. We spent one day of our trip wandering around this city. As you might imagine, I refused to sit properly in the lime-green mobile prison. I howled very loudly whenever they tried to strap me in, so they let me sit and face forward sometimes. I had a much nicer view from there.

Late in the afternoon, my parental captors were hungry and thirsty. Their needs were exacerbated by their efforts in keeping me captive, which made me happy. When small victories are all you've managed your whole life, you learn to celebrate whenever you get the opportunity.

While they ate, drank and indulged in insipid conversation, I was given a bottle to replenish fluids I'd lost from the heat. When finished, I quickly stole Daddy's beer, which made a loud popping sound that startled me when it was opened. While they were distracted by their laughter at the evident cuteness of a small baby holding a beer, I wanted to sample the beverage.

Yuck! It smelled awful.

The scent of this foul potion (along with some rocking) knocked me right out.

When I came to, we were far from Willemstad, and back in the temporary prison I endured while on the island. I was able to secure a document which I was certain would enable me to escape with the help of the long arm of the law on our ridiculously long trip back:

It didn't.

Didya miss me?

2009-04-07T00:17:00.007-04:00

I hope so.

You might remember that way back when I was a little tyke that I embarked on a mobility and strength regimen? Well, that program might very well be the only thing in the country paying dividends.

I've been crawling for more than three months these days, and I'm fast and strong, if I say so myself. As I mentioned in my last post, I was working my upper body strength while avoiding my enslavers. Well, the last two months have seen many of my escape attempts foiled, but I continue to lull my captors into a false sense of security with smiles, giggles and cute noises. I'm crafty, you see.

Rather than spend time updating you on my progress, I was busy searching the various holding cells for items that might be useful. After seeing the end of Shawshank Redemption, I even tried to gnaw my way out of my prison crib using my new teeth, but my captors caught me and placed a gummy strip over the wood, erasing my progress and preventing further attempts using this effective, though slow, method.

Seven Month Check-in

2009-01-25T20:47:00.002-05:00

Liam is one active kid. Since learning how to crawl just after his 6-month birthday, he has moved onto standing and scooting around couches, tables and other items that he can pull himself up on. Liam cut his first tooth and experienced his first ear infection in the same week.

Likes:
Bananas and Oatmeal
Playing on his baby grand piano
Putting power cords in his mouth
Standing up on his own (with assistance from inanimate object, of course)

Dislikes:
Antibiotics (creates the worst poops ever)
Hitting his head while falling down
Have a tooth cut through his gums
Winter

Escape Artist

2009-01-25T20:34:00.004-05:00

Learning to crawl has given me an even greater ability -- escape artist extraordinaire. Now I can crawl out anything that I am not strapped into. Actually, I think I can get out straps too. I just haven't put enough effort into trying.

I was on my way to figuring out how to get out of my crib. But those damn parental units took away my greatest asset-- the bumper. I was devising a new plan that involved my friends in the sky. But then poof my mobile was gone.

So now my plan is to increase my upper body strength. I can already pull myself off the ground in my Pack n Play. Fortunately, this feat has not been recorded by video or still photography. Every time my enslavers go to get a recording device, I simply release back into a standing position.

Crawling and Gnawing

2009-01-25T20:10:00.014-05:00

Over Christmas break, I learned how to crawl. It is quite fun getting from place to place on my own. At first, I typically used this skill to find new objects to put in my mouth... crib slats, power cords, Grandpa's feet, toys, etc.

Once I got some real speed, I used it to attack the kitties. So much fun! You wouldn't believe how slow these cats are. Easy targets.

I remember how delighted everyone was by my crawling at first. Now they just seem to be worried or annoyed... constantly calling out my name in this new exasperated way. Lee-um! Disgusting... I hate.

They also try to thwart me from my mission of finding things to put in my mouth by calling out my name in sing-song manner while waving their hands at me. I think this is truly hilarious. They must think I'm a dog or something.

4 Generations

2009-01-08T15:09:00.003-05:00

Did you know that Liam was named after his great-grandfather Bill?
In fact, he is the fourth generation William on Doug's side of the family. While we were in Indiana, we captured this picture of all four Williams! They are known by Doug and I as: Grandpa Bill, Uncle Craig (he goes by his middle name), cousin Wil (oddly, he goes by his middle name too) and, of course, Liam.

Christmas Part 3

2009-01-03T16:12:00.013-05:00

By my third Christmas, I was a little tuckered out. It didn't help that everyone had to open their presents one at a time. Despite a nap in the middle of the festivities, I was still able to see the last present be opened! I seriously doubt I missed much.

I shared this Christmas with Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Owen, Aunt Amy, Uncle Greg, Aunt Jill and my cousins Ashlyn and Gabby. Next year there will be cousin Molly!
I tried to offer Uncle Owen a course in Baby 101. But he didn't want to even try to change my diaper. This may have something to do with Mommy and Daddy constantly calling me Biohazard Baby!

Christmas Part 2

2009-01-03T15:50:00.012-05:00

Despite a lack of a chimney, Santa found his way into my house! On Christmas morning, I woke up to find a whole bunch of presents under the tree. And if you want more proof, there's the fact that only crumbs were left on the plate I left out for Santa.

However, I have a strong feeling that Daddy ate some of them. He kept grumbling about Grammy's waistline busting ways! But I say, don't steal Santa's cookies if you are so worried about your figure.

I had loads of fun opening my gifts. And I quickly got to work playing with them. I also got some boring gifts like sippy cups, shoes and clothes. But come on, Christmas is about the toys!

Mommy and Daddy let me play all afternoon as they packed up for our trip to Indiana. The plane was so empty that I didn't even have to sit on anyone's lap. So I got to kick back and think about how much fun I was going to have with all my new toys.

Christmas Part 1

2009-01-03T15:29:00.010-05:00

You might have heard of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" -- well I participated in 5 days of Christmas. Of course, in typical fashion, Mommy and Daddy only took pictures during 3 of the 5 days. Heck, I guess I should be happy they remembered the camera at all. You'd think of was the second kid or even farther down the totem pole by their nonchalance about capturing the most important moments of my life!

Anyway, the first Christmas of my first Christmas was at Grammy and PopPop's house on Christmas Eve. In addition to Grammy and PopPop, those who attended this historic event were Uncle Matt, Aunt Janice, Nana and my cousins Justin and Bryan.

The first present I opened was from my cousins. It was a baby grand piano. Totally awesome! I hope I inherited my musical abilities from someone other than my parents. They are both horrible. If I could speak, I would tell them to stop with the lullabies.

You're funny... Ooh, look at that!!

2008-12-20T19:42:00.007-05:00

I'm a much happier baby these days, as you might imagine. Daddy is home from some far distant land called Georgia, Grammy plays with me all day long, and Mommy is, well, Mommy. I've also kicked that cold I had. It wasn't much fun.

In fact, Daddy took this picture a couple of days after I got all nice and healthy. He was dancing and making faces at me while holding the camera. It was pretty silly. I decided to throw him a bone with a couple of smiling and laughing picks because I've made it very hard for to get a picture of me smiling.

You see, I smile and laugh at people's funny faces, not for cameras. And that goes for the Camera-Head creatures as well. I'm not sure what these Camera-Heads are, but I know they aren't funny. They also have a bright orange light and an annoying pulsing white light that. Frankly, I don't like them one bit.

Daddy seems to have captured a Camera-Head creature because even when the orange light hits me and the blinding light goes off, I can see him making funny faces and laughing with me.

I laugh and smile a lot these days. I keep trying to communicate the way adult people do, as well. According to my parents the sounds I make are "too cute" so I have to resort to extreme measures. I'm not ashamed to cry if it gets me what I want.

Oh look.... Kitty-Cat!! Hey Pekoe!!

C'mere, Pekoe. I want to pet you.

Here Kitty-Kitty...

Look, Pekoe, I'm sorry about that tail-grabbing thing. I didn't know that you didn't like having your tail grabbed.

C'mon, Pekoe, lemme pet you. I promise, no tail-grabbing.

I know you want attention -- and I want to provide it! I love Kitty-Cats. Even though they don't love me.

Bro's Before Ho Ho Ho's

2008-12-07T14:10:00.005-05:00

Sorry Clare, but Owen and I are busy doing boy-stuff... like putting our hands in our mouths. It was great hangin' out with all my friends at the Holiday Party today.
I was most impressed with Georgia... she can freakin' crawl! I wanna do that... it's so not fair! And what about Evan. That kid can almost sit up and he's only four months old. Charlie, Ella, Lily and Julia were the perfect little princesses. Sugar and spice, and everything nice.

Then there's crazy Clare. I love her because even in a dress she'll get down and dirty to play with you. We had a grand time on the mat.

Happy Holidays to all!

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-30T16:44:00.003-05:00

On Thanksgiving, I got dressed up in an outfit the same color as my new favorite food. Okay, pears are still my favorite food to eat. But peas are my favorite food to play with.

We went to Grammy and PopPop's house. I was a big hit! Everybody loved playing with me. In fact, I played so much with my family that I skipped a couple naps. Oops!

Despite being super tired, I was a very good baby. I played in my exersaucer while everybody ate. I can't wait to sit at the table next year. There was some yummy looking food up there.

More Peas Please!

2008-11-30T16:30:00.006-05:00

Peas are great! They are messy and fun. After nearly two weeks of eating rice cereal and pears, I finally figured out how to make a true mess out my food. I was inspired by the green color. I wanted to make everything green.

Eating is so much fun. I partially like to smear food onto my bib. Once the food is piled on high, I grab my bib and start to eat the food off it.

But as you can see, I also understand the concept of open up wide for the spoon.

Five Month Check-in

2008-11-30T16:11:00.003-05:00

Liam has had an explosion of activity these past few weeks. He rolls all over the place and manages to grab hold of everything in sight. He seems to be growing in front of our eyes. Unfortunately, we don't know his exact stats.

Likes:
Pears and Rice Cereal
Playing in his exersaucer
Practicing his walking
Sucking on his hands and toys

Dislikes:
Naps on the weekends -- doesn't want to miss out on any Mommy/Daddy time
Rainy, cold weather
Colds (caught his first cold two days before his 5 month birthday)
Booger-cleaning bulbs

Let me do it:)

2008-11-30T15:51:00.005-05:00

By my second feeding, I was ready to try to do it myself. Since everything else I can find goes right into my mouth, it was easy to get the spoon in there.

Sometimes Mommy would help direct the spoon. To be honest, I wasn't very good at keeping the rice cereal on the spoon before it got to my mouth.

The biggest problem with solid foods is that it has caused Mommy to talk a lot about my poo. Seriously, I have never seen anyone so obsessed. She's always checking to see if I dropped a load. So, I showed her what a real load could look like! It was SO disgusting. Not only did I gross Mommy out, I got an extra bath out of it!

Yummy Solid Foods

2008-11-30T14:34:00.006-05:00

Here I am on 11/15 getting ready for my first "bite" of solid food. My two front teeth are just ready to come in. Until they do I guess I'll just have to gum my solid food.

Here comes the first bit of rice cereal. At first I didn't know what to make of it. But quickly I found it yummy and started to dive-bomb toward the spoon.

And yes, that is a creme brulee dish. That is one of Daddy's favorite desserts. Now that I have had a solid food dinner, I can't wait to try desserts!

Obama Wins!!!

2008-11-09T19:36:00.003-05:00

This week was filled with historic events. First and foremost, Obama won the presidency. Secondly, I mastered the rollover from tummy to back. And thirdly, I was able to produce my weight in drool.

Although I was born under the reign of an idiot, I am excited to know that my youth will be spent with an enlightened president. Hooray for Obama!

More Trick than Treat

2008-10-31T19:49:00.002-04:00

Today, Liam had his 4-month check-up. He had more shots. This time he figured out what they were... and didn't like it one bit. He's also been extremely cranky all day. Thank you Mom for dealing with him.

For those who care, he is 15 pounds 12 ounces and 26 inches long.

More Cousins!

2008-10-27T20:04:00.003-04:00

In August, I met my boy cousins -- Justin and Bryan. In October, I met my girl cousins -- Ashlyn and Gabby. Despite their obsession with American Girl and Disney Princesses, they are pretty cool chicks! They live in Indiana, but not in the same area as Grandma and Grandpa.

Hopefully, I will be able to share some pictures from my weekend in the Region. However, Mommy and Daddy failed yet again to use their camera as it was intended -- frequent and often. Everybody promised to send us pictures. Yet despite their complaints about the infrequency of my blog posts, they fail to send me pictures to go with my musings. No pictures, no blog posts.

First Airplane Trip

2008-10-27T18:36:00.003-04:00

Here's a picture of me before my first airplane trip. I have been on 3 more flights since then! I like to travel, but getting through security sucks. They kept demanding that I take off my shoes. I didn't even know what they were talking about -- I've never in worn a pair shoes in my life. The other thing that sucks about airplanes is that they never land on-time. Mommy says that they sometimes do. But my experience finds otherwise. Four flights. Four late arrivals.

The best part of airplanes is being held by Mommy for multiple hours. She makes flying fun. Heck, she makes it relaxing.

More Halloween

2008-10-26T20:21:00.004-04:00

Halloween Baby Style

2008-10-26T20:04:00.008-04:00

Today, I experienced the cutest thing ever... Halloween Baby Style!
Doug, Liam and I went to a Halloween Party for my New Mommies Group. Here are just some of the pictures. More to share... because they are just too cute!

Above: Liam (the dragon, second from the left) sitting with some of his girlfriends (Charlie-- the Pea in the Pod, Ella -- the Dalmatian, Priya -- the Chili Pepper, and Clare -- the Cow).

Normally, I would say that Liam is the cuttest baby in any picture. But honestly, Lilly dressed up as a Lobster wins hands down!

4 month check-in

2008-10-26T17:16:00.007-04:00

Sorry everybody. This has been a crazy month. Hopefully, Liam will be able to tell you all about it in the coming weeks. But Doug has been away for the campaign, so I have been playing single mommy and haven't had time to post anything.

Anyway, I will have Liam's stats on Friday after his 4 month check-up.

Liam's likes:
Standing up (assisted of course)
Bouncing (no assistance needed)
Chewing on his blanket
Rolling over onto his stomach

Liam's dislikes:
The Cubs inability to make it past the first round of the playoffs
Going to bed early
The wait just before you can finally deboard an airplane
Sarah Palin

3 month check-in

2008-09-24T21:54:00.005-04:00

Liam turned 3 months old today. This means no more having to remember how many weeks it was since the doctor sliced me open. Since we didn't have a doctor's appointment this month I had to take his measurements. This means that they may not be accurate in the slightest.

Weight: 15 pounds
Height: 24.25 inches
Clothes size: 3-6 month; but some 6-9 months already fit him

Liam's likes:
Drooling
Grabbing hold of things
Flying baby
The color orange

Liam's dislikes:
Alarm clocks
Vitamins
When Daddy is away on business

Sleeping

2008-09-22T18:53:00.008-04:00

I just love to sleep on my tummy.

I keep telling Mommy that the "Back to Sleep" campaign was cooked up by the damn communists. Tired babies lead to tired parents. And tired parents mean less consumerism. Less consumerism means a slower economy. Well, you know the rest.

But she just looks at me and says "No honey, 'Back to Sleep' came after the Cold War. That's why I was able to enjoy many happy nights on my tummy as baby. Now, learn to roll over! Only then can I put you on your tummy to sleep!"

Cubs Clinch

2008-09-21T10:47:00.008-04:00

Didya hear? The Cubs clinched the NL Central championship yesterday! That means we are one more step closer to the World Series.

Mommy tells me that I should temper my expectations. Something about a curse... and a 100-year drought.

But I say, the Cubs have rocked throughout my entire lifetime! So I'm not going to let these sourpusses ruin my fun.

All we need is to keep getting Ws in the month of October! Since I don't have a white W flag, I must do my own interpretation of the W.

In case you are wondering, we are going to retire this onesie and bring out new ones for the playoffs. That's great because this one is way too tight now. It may have swam on me when I came home from the hospital, but now it restricts my ability to cheer. And that's not cool!

Happy 1092!

2008-09-20T11:10:00.013-04:00

Last month we celebrated an historic event in the Loos household -- the 91 birthday of my great-
grandmother Ethel. That's 1090 more months than I have even been alive! Everyone calls her Big Nana, but don't get it. She's not that big. Mommy tells me that were two Nanas when she was my age. One could do big things -- like drive, curse, and live in the big city (that's New York for those who don't know). And one could not. I still don't get it, but whatever.

Here is a picture of me and my cousins -- Justing and Bryan -- wishing Nana a happy birthday. Boy, did that cake look good. But I didn't even get to have one small bite. Nana said that I didn't have any teeth to eat it with. But I'm sure it could have gummed it.

I also got to meet my uncle Roger for the first time. He's pretty cool. But he lives in North Carolina so I don't know when I'll get to see him again. Roger and his girlfriend Hannah got me a very cute outfit and a book that I like to put in my mouth!

The one thing that I have learned about family get-togethers are that they are loud!!! Just wait to I reach my full lung potential, I'm sure that I can make them louder.

Play Time, Part 2!

2008-09-15T21:46:00.004-04:00

Here's some more play time... Daddy recorded some of my play sessions this evening. Apparently, I was having some fun. Mommy and Daddy are very amused that I've figured out that rocking and kicking in the bouncy chair makes the music and lights turn on, and it also rocks the chair.

When Mommy and Daddy first put me in the chair, I didn't much like it. But nowadays, I think it rocks!

Play Time!

2008-09-15T21:30:00.005-04:00

Yeah Boy!

2008-09-14T10:24:00.010-04:00

So I realized recently that I hadn't introduced my new guy friend. That's right it's not all about the ladies anymore. I mean the girls are great, but sometimes you just need a bud to talk to. Someone who understands what it's like to a boy in this pink-frilled baby world.

This is Owen. He's pretty cool. He's ultra-serious though. That's why I decided to show him how to chill. Also he's not as familiar with the opposite sex, so I taught him a few of my classic moves. See, he's taking it all in... I am like an Obi Wan to his Luke.

Damn! Look at him move in on my girl Georgia. That's just not right, man. Seriously, uncool!

Well, at least, we know he's a good student. Much better than that whiny Luke boy.

Hey, Mommy just reminded me that I have Uncle named Owen. I hope he doesn't try to steal my girl too! Wait, Mommy said that Uncle Owen is a one-woman man now. I can't wait to meet my Uncle Owen next month. Maybe he can teach me a few new tricks with the ladies since it seems I might a have some competition now.

I love my Grammy

2008-09-14T09:59:00.004-04:00

This picture is a little old, but I thought it was befitting. I must apologize for my absence online -- my routine has changed a bit. Now, I spend a lot of time with my Grammy.

Apparently, Mommy has gone back to work. So this means that most days it's just me and Grammy. And she is not a big Internet person. In fact, Daddy says that she is surrounded by an anti-technology bubble. I don't know about that. I know that she surrounds me with luvs and hugs. Thank you, Grammy!

Then when Mommy and Daddy come home we play. By the time we finishing playing, I'm too tired to go on the Internet. I try to get Mommy to let me do my blog posts in the middle of the night, but she keeps telling me that I should sleep then. I keep trying and she keeps fighting it. Last week, I woke her up twice every night. But each night, she refused to let me blog. She might be right -- my late night posts would probably be just pure jibberish.

Go Team Go!

2008-09-07T18:07:00.005-04:00

So this summer I watched a lot of Olympics. Did you see Michael Phelps win all those medals? Well, I did. I also watched Misty May-Treanor and Kerry Walsh kick some serious butt... you gotta love those uniforms! Oh, the men's beach volleyball team wasn't too bad either... they just weren't as pretty to watch.

After watching gymnastics, soccer and swimming every night, I went through a bit of withdrawal when the Olympics was all over. To make matters worse, the Cubbies started to slump at exactly the same time. Better now than in October, right? I love cheering and feel out of practice.

Anyway, today is my first football Sunday. I have slept through most of it... trying to conserve my energy for the big game tonight. Bears vs. Colts. Daddy is a Bears fan. Mommy is a Colts fan. I haven't decided what I am yet. Do you have any opinions?

Two Month Check-in

2008-08-26T10:28:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, I took Liam to his two-month appointment. This was the yucky shot appointment. He did quite well. That said, he screamed bloody murder and turned beet red during the shots -- but calmed very quickly in my arms. The rest of the day he was sleepier than usual. He even slept through the night in his crib. But I'm not sure if that wasn't because of the Tylenol.

His measurements are:
12 pounds 11 ounces
22.5 inches

I think he's longer than that. It was cold in the exam room and he wasn't stretching out too well.

Liam likes:
Playing on his exercise mat.
Making spit bubbles.
Farting.

Liam doesn't like:
Sleeping on his back.
Opera music.
Outfits with more than 3 snaps.

Babysitter for Hire

2008-08-26T10:15:00.006-04:00

They say it is hard to find a good babysitter. Well, I've found that my cat Pekoe is the best babysitter there is. All I need to do is put Liam down on his exercise mat and Pekoe will take over.

She is very attentive. And Liam loves playing with her. They created a great game! Liam thrashes around creating shadows and then Pekoe attacks the shadows. It's super cute!

This is much better than when the cats simply hid every time they saw the little boy. Of course, I can't wait to see their reactions when he can actually run after them.

Liam is getting so big

2008-08-25T19:33:00.003-04:00

Liam is getting SO big. See the onesie in the picture above... he doesn't fit in it anymore. In fact, I packed up all his newborn clothes a couple weeks ago. Last week I found a newborn-sized outfit in the laundry so I held it up to him. And it's amazing how small it looked next to him. I can't believe how quickly he is growing.

I probably need to put away some of the next size up. Of course, sizes are deceiving. Some 0 to 3 months clothes don't fit while others are just starting to fit him. You can't even go by the weight suggestions. The trick is to start putting him things when they are too big -- that way they don't go unused in the closet.

Rogaine Anyone?

2008-08-24T20:55:00.005-04:00

So I hear male pattern baldness runs in my family. This sucks!

I thought this horrible genetic curse was supposed to come from the mother's side. Well, PopPop Roger has full head of hair. This isn't fair -- I am only a few weeks old and I'm losing the hair on top of my head!

Mommy says it will grow back soon. But she also keeps calling me her little redneck baby on account of the fact that I have a mullet. What's a mullet? Whenever I ask her she just says-- it's business in the front and party in the back. What does this crazy woman mean???

Mama Said Knock You Out

2008-08-24T20:42:00.008-04:00

Weighing in at 10 pounds 4 ounces, wearing the white trunks with blue gloves is Liam Moore.

Yup that's right, I am training for the ultra featherweight division.

Don't believe me... Check out these training photos. That green parrot never knew what hit him. Seriously, I pack a powerful punch. I'm not kidding. I can hit the crap out anything they hang above my head on this silly contraption. It's all about the follow-through. Just imagine what I'll be like when I can actually stand.

Okay, I admit it the gloves aren't just for boxing. But it sounds sissy to admit that they protect my pretty face. Apparently, Mommy doesn't like to cut my nails but she also doesn't like to be cut by my nails. Go figure.

Definitely Not the World Cup!

2008-08-06T14:47:00.002-04:00

Mommy took me to see Daddy play soccer. But again, I slept through the whole game. I guess someone will explain this soccer game to me another time. Mommy said that it was good that I slept through the whole game because a thunderstorm rolled in and we had to watch from far away. I can take that I missed the game, but missing a good thunderstorm just sucks.

Party Animal

2008-08-06T14:23:00.007-04:00

Did you know that I went to three parties before I turned one month old?

The first party was a cook-out at Grammy and PopPop's. Unfortunately, I don't remember anything from that party. I basically slept through the whole thing. Mommy tells me that many of Grammy's friends cooed all over me. I guess my power over the opposite sex extends into the AARP crowd!

The second party was at a friend of Daddy's house. There were a lot of people playing a bunch of different games. Mommy says that Daddy is an avid gamer... but she says it in a way that doesn't make it sound like a good thing. I don't know -- gaming looked like a lot of fun to me.

Here's a picture of Daddy and me learning a new game. I think it had something to do with spies, but I don't know.

Then the following weekend, we drove across the Chesapeake Bay to a party with Mommy's co-workers. It was another extremely hot day. Unfortunately, Mommy wouldn't let me go swimming in the bay.

I saw the weirdest thing. Grown adults banging away to get their dinner. Don't they know that they can get nourishment with just a little bit of sucking? Why would you want to pull apart a sea creature to get food? Mommy says that one day I will enjoy this too. She says that it is part of being a true Marylander.

The one thing I will always remember about this party is everybody asking Mommy when she is coming back to work. I knew my Mommy was cool -- but come on people, give her some time to spoil me. I don't like the idea of Mommy going away for 8 to 10 hours a day without me. They can have their crabs, but don't take away my Mommy!

Liam's Harem

2008-08-05T13:06:00.004-04:00

Sorry, I have written in a while. I been a little busy. That's what happens when you have 5 girlfriends. Heck, even Hugh Hefner only has three girlfriends. And my ladies are much prettier than the Girls Next Door.

This is a picture of me and my girlfriends. From left to right -- Julia, me, Lilly, Georgia, Ella and Clare. Don't you just love Georgia's hair. Or how about how Julia's fashion sense -- she coordinates her outfit with mine. Lilly is awesome. She's a fighter.

Unfortunately, after the stunt I pulled with Clare and Ella last time they wanted to stay as far away from me as possible. Don't worry... I flashed them my big blue eyes and a coy smile so all is forgiven.

PS. Notice Mommy didn't put that stupid hat on my head this time!

One Month Check-in

2008-07-29T15:08:00.008-04:00

Yesterday, I took Liam for his one-month doctor's appointment. As we expected, he is doing splendidly.

Liam currently is:
9 pounds 7 ounces (without a poopy diaper)
20.75 inches
17 cm head circumference

He can already lift head at a 90 degree angle, make eye contact and follow the sound of either Mommy or Daddy's voice.

His likes:
Laying on Mommy and Daddy
Kisses on the tummy
Napping
Watching the Cubs -- especially when they win!
Staring at his crib mobile

His dislikes:
Laying on his back
Getting strapped into his car seat
Having clothes go over his head
Gas! And I don't me the kind at the pump.

I estimate that he has gone through 450 diapers and 675 wipes in his first month of life. Believe me, the fact that boys don't potty train until they are 2.5 to 3 years old is weighing heavily on me right now.

Out of town visitor

2008-07-29T13:45:00.005-04:00

Mommy's high school friend Jennifer came to visit us during my second week home. She brought along her daughter Emma. Can you believe this chick is only 7 months older than I am? Well, I can't!

To be honest, I was experiencing a bit of a Napoleon complex that day. I'll just have to eat more and bulk up before the next time that I meet Miss Emma. I guess I'll need to start demanding more supply from Mommy. Oh, Emma did tell me that there is a world of great tastes beyond milk. But Mommy put her foot down again on experimenting with solid foods.

Miss Emma lives in Orlando -- which I have learned is home to Disney World. I don't know what this world of Disney is yet, but I hear it's the happiest place on Earth. I'm certainly willing to give that a try. Hey Mom when will I be big enough to go to Disney World?

Booked and Processed

2008-07-29T13:16:00.009-04:00

Looks like I somehow got myself in trouble again.

First I escaped the jail that they call a hospital. Then I experienced something called being grounded. Now they are actually fingerprinting me for future wrongdoings. Not fair.

Ha! Well, I am not going to make this easy on them. They don't call me squirmy monkey for nothing.

The authorities might have captured my feet really well. But what good will that do them -- I can't even walk yet. My goal is to ensure that they have no record of my fingerprints.

I did it! See the mess I made. They will never be able to pin a thing on me with prints like that. When in doubt always blame the cats -- that's what I say.

Hmmm... I hope this silver ink comes off or they are going to start calling me the Tin Man.

Grandfathers are cool too!

2008-07-23T16:23:00.007-04:00

Pop Pop don't look so surprised! I learned how to let one rip from you. Heck, everybody else in the room thinks that you are the one who farted. They couldn't possibly think something that loud came out of something so small!

Hanging out with Pop Pop is a lot of fun. He tells bad jokes and watches a lot of television. He talks a lot about baseball -- a sport that I am quite familiar.

I have another grandfather too! He drove many miles to hang out with me. He even offered me my first sip of beer -- but Mommy put the kibosh on that. Damn woman -- she thinks her milk is the only game in town. Doesn't she know that monopolies are just un-American! Well, I'll teach her... I'll show her the effects of Supply and Demand.

Anyway, this post is about my grandfathers. Did you know that it's in grandpa DNA to like Law & Order. No really, both Pop Pop Roger and Grandpa Dave seem to watch it all the time. Seriously, I think Dick Wolf has them under some kind of spell. No matter how darn cute I looked they both had to know who killed the girl...or whatever the case was about...by the end of the hour.

Grounded

2008-07-21T17:25:00.004-04:00

Sorry for my delay in posting. Apparently, I lost my Internet privileges!

Something about not respecting Mommy's basic rights to eat, sleep and shower.

But don't worry, I'm back and ready to share my musings with you. And I don't expect to be grounded again any time soon. Why, you ask. Simple. Mommy is no match to my smiles. By simply making a few sheep or goat noises I can break down her defenses and turn her into putty in my hands:)

Grandma's Coming to Town

2008-07-08T11:23:00.006-04:00

Today I found out the sweetest thing... I have two grandmas! Yup, two people whose sole purpose is to spoil me rotten.
How cool is that?!?!

In the morning, Grammy Kathy came over to help Mommy prepare for Grandma Carol's visit. I've been told that Grammy Kathy lives locally -- whatever that means. While Grandma Carol lives in Indiana. I don't know my geography yet but that sounds far away.

Before Grammy Kathy could do any work, I suckered her into holding me. As you can tell, I love to be held by my Grammy. She sings and rocks me back-and-forth. It's very soothing.

Daddy returned from picking Grandma Carol up at the airport. She was SO excited to see me. Daddy warned me that Grandma Carol is a "baby hog" -- I don't know what that is, but it doesn't sound good.

The good news is that a baby hog is someone who likes to hold and play with me. I like baby hogs!

Unfortunately, this baby hog needed to work on her diapering skills. Apparently, Grandma Carol had never experienced a squirmy monkey. She was an easy target for my poop canon:)

It's my birthday!!!

2008-07-08T10:27:00.012-04:00

Not only was July 1 the first day of a new month, but it was also my one-week birthday! To celebrate Mommy and Daddy got me dressed for my first play date. Yup, one-week old and I already have a girlfriend -- two actually!! Mommy and Daddy tell me that I'm growing up too fast. But I can't help it. My shirt says it all... I'm a chick magnet.

Older women are the best. Of course, when you are one-week old, there aren't too many younger women from which to choose. As you can tell, I'm making a play for the older one. Ella is almost three months old! Now, that's what I call experienced;) Of course, Clare is really cute too! Well, I guess I better just play it cool and see which one digs me the most.

That's it... lean up against Ella while looking absolutely adorable. Then while she's not looking, reach out to hold Clare's hand. I really wish that How to Be a Playa handbook I ordered off of Amazon had arrived already.

All that matters is that I had a blast and those two lovely ladies are not going to soon forget Liam Moore!

When I got home, I had to tell Daddy all about my play date. He was most impressed. However, he blamed my lack of action on Mommy's persistent desire to put that god-awful hat on my head. He promised to hide the hat before any future play dates!

Later that night a whole bunch of people came over. They even rolled my bassinet out to the dining room so I could enjoy the festivities. Despite not getting a piece of cake -- or even a smidgen of icing -- I think this was pretty good first birthday!

Parole visit

2008-07-03T22:30:00.012-04:00

After my close escape from the hospital in this sage green contraption, Daddy realized that my second greatest asset in my escape arsenal -- my small size -- needed to be neutralized. Alas, he used several of my blankets to wedge me in the seat.

I struggled as much as I could to prevent Daddy from locking me into this contraption, but strangely I had no power to prevent him from strapping me in. High on my list of priorities will be mobility research and a strength training regimen so I can effectively resist further indignities.

After being strapped in, I asked if I could drive, but Mommy made simpering noises and began snapping these blackmail photographs.

To make matters even worse, Daddy also added a blanket on top of my head. Joy. At least he finally realized that the family jewels were in danger of some serious chafing and added a crotch blanket. If you haven't kept count, that's FOUR blankets to one baby. Daddy may be a little slow sometimes, but damn if he didn't lock me in tight.

By the way, if I hear one more "Napoleon-complex" comment, you're going on the poopy-list. Suffice to say, you won't enjoy my vengeance. Which I might add is a dish served warm, rather than cold. Make of that what you will.

Speaking of cold. The air outside here in the DC-area is not. Again, the heat and humidity immediately knocked me out. When I came to, I was in a freezing place with children running around screaming. An ominous sign. At least there were parents cooing at me.

Wait. Wait. Wait.

Kids.

Other Parents.

Crap! I've been BETRAYED!!!

Mommy and Daddy have taken me to the Doctor's office. I was weighed, measured, poked, prodded and the obsessive compulsive medical professionals took my temperature. It would serve you right if it was low since you took off all my clothes. I turned red with embarrassment. All was well with my health -- even my temperature. If anyone would have listened to me, they would have known I was fine without the pokes, prods and cold metal surfaces.

Unfortunately, my weight wasn't back up to my birth weight, so I have to come back next week. FRACK. I tried, again, to make a point -- this time that it was unrealistic to expect me to gain 10 ounces in the three days since my escape from the hospital. But Daddy just looked at me funny and changed my diaper. Sigh.

First Bath

2008-07-03T16:44:00.011-04:00

On my second night home, Daddy decided that I needed a bath. He said that I was starting to smell. Since my umbilical cord hadn't fallen off yet, it was a good old-fashioned sponge bath.

I just knew that I wouldn't like this one bit! So I delivered Mommy and Daddy a double poop just beforehand. But Mommy thwarted my objection by actually catching my poop with a wet wipe. Augh!!! My parents are just too smart.

Daddy did a great job cleaning me despite all my squirming. I tried to tell him that little boys are supposed to be dirty, but it just came out "Whaaa... Whaaa... Snuffle... Whaaa!"

Here's a picture of me post-bath. I am clearly contemplating how I will seek my revenge against such torture in the future. I still think the poop cannon idea is a good one. I think I just need to work on my execution.
They'll never see it coming!

Go Cubs!

2008-07-03T15:22:00.003-04:00

As I mentioned earlier, I escaped from the hospital on June 27th. Daddy had me dressed up in our favorite team's garb--perhaps as a ruse to fool the evil heel-pricking, temperature-taking nurses from Hell so they could get Mommy and me home.

Daddy took this picture after I heard the news that Nick Swisher took Ryan Dempster deep for a Grand Slam--and a Cubs loss. I was none too pleased. Frankly, I haven't been pleased with the Cubs' offense since my birth. 3-6 since I was born? What is that about.

Daddy says that I need to learn about small sample size distortions. Oh, he also says that I need to temper my expectations since the Cubs have the best record in the National League and are in first place in the Central. I think that is a load of crap. I'm eight days old and even I know the Cubs haven't won the World Series since 1908. ESPN only says it every five frackin' minutes. (Mommy and Daddy let me stay up late to watch Battlestar Galactica last Friday. Yeah!)

Well, maybe when Ramirez, Zambrano and Soriano are back in action, they'll get back to winning lots of games.

Going Home

2008-07-03T14:45:00.005-04:00

Mommy and Daddy were super excited to get to take me home. The nurses put me in Mommy's arms, cut off my house arrest anklet and then sped me downstairs where Daddy had the get-away car ready to go.

As they put me in this sage green contraption, a wall of heat and humidity engulfed my body. I tried to fight it, but I was no match to the typical DC summer weather. Within seconds, I fell asleep.

I don't really remember much from the seven-minute trip home. But I think Mommy and Daddy kept saying something about how small I was.

Hospitals Suck

2008-07-03T14:27:00.003-04:00

Here I am sleeping in mommy's arms. Sleep did not come easy to neither mommy nor I at the hospital. The nurses kept coming in to check our vitals -- whatever those are. My heal got pricked a bunch of times and it seemed like they were constantly checking my temperature. But I got them back! Unfortunately, mommy says that it was the good nurse who received my pee attack. Oh well, next time I will do more research before assaulting an innocent woman with my only defense.

Taking Over

2008-07-03T10:04:00.004-04:00

Last night, some pictures were posted to this blog by some character named "Doug." I don't know who Doug is, but Daddy was playing around with his laptop and some pictures of me. Maybe he sent it to this Doug person? Maybe Daddy has two names? I shall have to investigate this further. In any event, rather than just letting Daddy post whatever pictures he wanted, I took control. It is, after all, my blog.

I told Mommy that she could make posts as well. So far, she hasn't said yes or no. Probably too busy sleeping.

Welcome to the world... and my blog!

2008-07-03T01:31:00.000-04:00

So, here's Mommy holding me in the Recovery room. It was cold. They gave me a bath. I don't like baths. They gave me shots. I don't like shots. They put me in this hat. I really don't like this hat. I do like Mommy though. And she really likes me. Plus, she gives me my food, and so, well, I love Mommy.

This is Daddy. He's okay. He generally changes my diapers and stuff like that.